Today I had a brand new nurse following me on her Very. First. Day. How exciting! I love working with new nurses! I like being reminded of what it’s like to be a new nurse. I hope to never forget, and I hope to always be patient and kind and never make them feel dumb. We should support and encourage our new nurses, not make them feel smaller than they already feel! We have a hard enough time keeping people at the bedside.

 Anyway, I love their excitement, and all the questions and thoughts that begin with “this wasn’t what they taught us in school”lol. 

Also, she told me I was so kind and friendly, and that made my day! I really tried to not come across as intimidating, as I was sure she was already nervous enough! It’s nice to feel appreciated, and it’s awesome to be able to teach a fresh new mind.

It’s a confidence booster to be able to just speak what you know, and someone else soaks it up as valuable knowledge. 

I know what it feels like to be new and scared. I will never forget the ones who reached out to me and made the transition a little easier when I was new. I try to do the same for those who come after me.

I have been a nurse for 11 years. Nine of those years were in one area that I felt pretty comfortable at. For the last 2 years I have been working in a different area. Talk about a life changing, humbling experience. I felt like a scared, brand new grad all over again. I felt like a little kid. Confidence? Completely gone. Brain? Gone. Common sense? Gone! Lol  But really, when I first started, every day I was so nervous, it was hard to think straight. New focus and routine. New co workers. New boss. Completely starting over.

For years I told myself that to work in this area (my current job), you have to be one of the best nurses in the hospital. You have to be so smart, so talented, like on a whole different level.  I looked up to these guys so much. I never in a million years thought I would be able to be one of them. I never thought I had what it took. Didn’t think I was smart enough. I thought I was in a different league. I am still a work in progress, but I am just painting this picture to show you what I was facing in my head when I signed on to this job. I honestly didn’t feel worthy to be there. For some reason, I really wasn’t sure why, I was hired and given a chance. The people that knew me were encouraging and supportive of me making the switch. I would not have had the guts to go for it if so many people hadn’t pushed me to do it.

I told myself that if this was something I really wanted, then I had to go for it. No matter how scary it seemed. If I wanted to find out what I am really capable of, then I had to do it!

I’m tired of not having guts. Of not trying something because of lack of confidence. Of staying where I am because it’s comfortable. I would always wonder “what if” if I didn’t at least give it a shot. If I try and fail, or decide it’s not for me, at least I could say I tried.  

And shit, was I scared!

But I did it, and I am still doing it, and will not give up.

Each day I muster up the courage to show up and try my best, to ask questions even if I feel dumb, and study, and keep an open mind to learn.
I’ve made mistakes. I’ve second guessed myself. I’ve looked dumb, a lot! I am definitely not the best nurse or the smartest one out there, but dammit I keep trying! I try to be a good teammate and employee, to stay positive, and I try to give the very best care that I can to my patients, and that’s what matters.

I’ve been at the top, and I’ve been at the bottom. I try to be encouraging to those that are just starting out, and I also still need and appreciate encouragement from those around me. I’ve come full circle. I used to be the “go to” person on the unit. Now, some days I still feel like the rookie, then other days I get to teach the rookie, and it helps me feel like I’m getting somewhere. Isn’t this how we grow in life? I have helped train people years ago who I now take orders from. I never try to act like I’m better than someone, or like they’re beneath me. We’re all there with the same goal, to help people, and do the best job we can do.

Now get out there and face your fears! Life is short! If I can make a change, so can YOU! Try to be encouraging to those that are newer or less experienced than you. Remember where you started. Leave a comment and encourage others to be BRAVE! Tell the world what you have done to face your fears or to help others be brave.

Peace and Love, Leah