The recurring theme I feel that is the most important piece of living a meaningful life, is showing up for people, and showing love and kindness to others. At the most challenging points in my life, I wouldn’t have survived (or would have felt very dark and alone) had other people not shown me kindness or lent a helping hand. This is a choice people make, not something they’re “required” to do, or have to do because of their job. It’s out of the kindness of their hearts, by choice, to help someone in need, or to do a kind act or show a kind gesture, whether big or small, or just show up for someone. I notice, I feel it, appreciate it, and try to always pass it on.
At the end of the day, it is acts of love and kindness that I will remember others for, and hope others remember about me.
I’m always curious about why people are the way they are. What in their past has led up to this current person that they are? All our past experiences shape us into the person we are today.
The way I see it, there are two types of curiosity: the nosy type, and the compassionate type. The nosy type wants the details for gossiping reasons, or just because they want to know the juicy stuff. They might laugh at someone, or snicker about it with their friends. They might use this information against someone in the future.
The compassionate type might notice a person acting strange, and instead of laughing at them, wonders if they might have something else going on causing them to act this way. A mental illness? Are they going through a stressful situation? Are they uncomfortable or nervous right now? Do they have social anxiety, are introverted, or depression? Maybe you just met someone who doesn’t seem so friendly, maybe a little cold in their tone, instead of thinking “What a jerk!” wonder what she has going on in her life to cause her to feel and act this way. Maybe her loved one is dying? Self-esteem issues? Maybe she’s going through a divorce? Maybe she has a family member battling addiction? We don’t know these things. Everyone is fighting a battle of some sort, they may not always talk about it. I guarantee you, anyone you ask right now, has some sort of stress or worry in their life. It could seem insignificant to your battles, but you are not in their shoes, you do not know their whole story.
Try to give people grace and show compassion where you can. They will appreciate it more than you know.
Sometimes the kindest people are the ones who are most sad on the inside. But often times the unkind people are the ones who need kindness shown to them most. They are hurting in some way, and they are probably showing it through anger. It’s really, really hard to be kind to someone who is straight up being an asshole. You can often tell the difference when someone is just cruel and a jerk, or did they lash out, then feel horrible about it, because they don’t want to be that way, and that’s not their true self.
The way I see it, it is rarely wrong to be kind. Sometimes it only takes kindness from one person to hit that “reset” button, and show them a different way to be. Someone to give them a chance. That’s how we will change the world. We can change somebody’s life with kindness. It may be one simple act that you do for that person, and they never forget it. It may change their outlook altogether. I know I have had people in my life say or do something that had a life changing impact on me.
If somebody is acting angry, rude, or just seems weird, try to be curious and think “why?” next time. More understanding often leads to more compassion, and we all know the world could use a little more compassion and understanding.
If somebody has done something or said something helpful to you, tell them! Tell them how it made you feel, or how they helped you. It may be days or even years later before you realize it, but tell them now! They may never know, and you may not have the chance again. Speak up! If you have something nice, complementing, or encouraging to say, and it’s from the heart, then tell that person today. It will never be wrong if it’s meaningful and from the heart.
I once had a co-worker, a good friend, tell me it was difficult to work with me lately because I was so negative all the time, and it brought her down. She said it in a kind, but worried way. It stopped me dead in my tracks, and made me re- examine the way I had been acting. Was I complaining all the time? Yeah. Yeah I had been. I just didn’t realize it, or realize it was affecting others. I am SO glad she told me. That was ten plus years ago. I recently, about a year ago, told her how much I appreciated her saying that to me back then, and how it changed me. It really made an impact, because ever since then I have tried to be extremely mindful of what I project outward to others. I cannot always control my thoughts or things going on around me, but I sure can control what comes out of my mouth! She didn’t remember saying it, but I remembered, and I thanked her nonetheless.
I’m curious… what are your thoughts about curiosity and compassion? I would love for you to leave a comment. Let’s form a community of lifting each other up and spreading love and kindness.
Peace Love and Curiosity 