Recently I’ve really been into reading books by the amazing author Brené brown. I’m obsessed! I feel like reading her books is changing my life. Like I have found a golden roadmap for navigating life. It’s so exciting, and I feel like I want to share it with everyone! I have read “Dare to Lead” and “Rising Strong.” “braving the wilderness,” “The gifts of Imperfection,” and “Atlas of the Heart.” Here are some thoughts I’ve taken away so far that can be applied to any aspect of life whether it be work, relationships, raising kids, etc.

Brene’s books have taught me about courage and vulnerability. Vulnerability – to let someone know where you’re tender or what you care about the most.

“We need trust to be vulnerable, and we need to be vulnerable in order to build trust. BOTH involve risk. That is what makes courage so hard and rare. Rumbling with vulnerability is about leaning into rather than walking away from the situation that makes us feel uncertain, at risk, or emotionally exposed.”

“I can’t think of a single act of courage that doesn’t require managing massive vulnerability.” Vulnerability is not weakness.

What does setting boundaries mean? “It is making clear what is okay and what is not okay, and why. Vulnerability minus boundaries is not vulnerability. It’s confession, manipulation, desperation, or shock and awe. But it is not vulnerability.”

“I care about you and I’m sorry that you’re going through a hard time, but I need to talk to you about what’s ok and what’s not ok.” – setting boundaries.

“Wholeheartedness – engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. Cultuvating courage, compassion and connection to wake up in the morning and think “no matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I AM ENOUGH. Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable, and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am brave and worthy of love and belonging. Wholeheartedness captures the essence of a fully examined emotional life and a liberated heart, one that is free and vulnerable enough to love and be loved, and a heart that is equally free and vulnerable to be broken and hurt.”

Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval.

Why do we insist on dress rehearsing tragedy in moments of deep joy? Joy is the most vulnerable emotion we feel. Allow yourself to recognize the shiver of vulnerability – that “oh shit, I have something worth losing now” feeling – and to just sit with it, and be grateful that you have something you want, in your hand, that it feels so good to hold and recognize.

integrity- choosing courage over comfort, choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy, and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them.

Deltas – (change) are where rivers meet the sea. They’re marshy, fully of sediment, and forever changing. That are also rich and fertile areas of growth. This is where we need to do our work, our key learnings emerge from the delta.

“Do you think, in general, that people are doing the best they can? All I know is that my life is better when I assume that people are doing their best. It keeps me out of judgement and lets me focus on what is, and not what should or could be.”

When we know better, we do better.” Maya Angelou

Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to, and when they say yes, they mean it. They’re compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment.

How can we expect people to put value on our work when we don’t value ourselves enough to set and hold uncomfortable boundaries?

We don’t judge people when we feel good about ourselves. We don’t compare when we’re feeling good about ourselves, we look for what’s good in others. When we practice self-compassion, we are compassionate towards others. I’m better than you and I’m not good enough are two sides of the same coin. Self-righteousness is just the armor of self-loathing.